Because Everyone Loves a Giveaway

I entered BalancedFoodie’s Cascadian Farms giveaway, and you can to! Just go to her blog and just follow the simple rules, that easy!

Hope everyone is doing well, a proper update will happen soon, I’ve just been a bit busy seeing how it is Derby weekend and I attend to partake in most of the festivities. Have a wonderful day, and good luck on the giveaway (although I’m a teeny bit selfish and am leaning for me to win, haha!)

Happy birthday Shakespeare!

Theatre is my life, and it’s only fitting to at least celebrate a talented playwright who helped bring it the masses!

So, it’s currently my fourth day of my personal 21 day challenge and it’s been going ok. The one thing that I am finding difficult is the amount of water I have to take in a day. Using the general water rule (take 1/2 of your body weight, and that is how many ounces of water to drink-to maintain a generally non active state), I have to take in 150 oz.

That is more than twice the standard “8 glasses of water a day”, and it’s hard. Not only am I consuming so much water that I’m getting sick of it (or really bored), but I feel like it becomes a burden. I have to make sure I drink my 16 oz water bottle in full almost every hour that I’m awake. And then on top of it, I have to go to the bathroom more, especially right before going to bed. I have always had issues with going to sleep (my mom used to tell me stories of how she would put me in the crib, come check up on me and I’d be standing there just looking around and not crying but also not going to sleep), and the disruptiveness of this act is becoming a nuisance. It’s harder now that I’m not working, since I don’t feel the “need” for the water. It’s an obstacle I need to overcome, and hopefully this 21 day challenge will help that. It does make it a little bit harder, but none of this journey is easy, right?

While on the elevator coming back to the apartment from going to Lowes and picking up some plants for the apartment, I overheard some guys that I was sharing the elevator with talking about how they had just picked up their registration packet for the Derby Marathon happening tomorrow. This got me thinking about how much I wish that I could be doing that. One of the things that I’ve wanted to accomplish and has been in the back of my brain is to run. Right now, in my current physical state, I barely can run a minute without feeling like my lungs are going to rip out of my chest. I can remember one year while I was in middle school, we had to do laps every Friday. I started by walking most, and then I slowly started running to certain points. I would tell myself “Run to that tree, and then you can walk for a bit”. Every week I would up it, and by the end of the year I remember finding out how much my time had changed and really felt accomplished.

I’ve always wanted to start a Couch to 5k program, but always become mentally stopped. Why? Because I am paranoid about the way people would view me while out in public running and stopping as much. It’s something that really stops me from doing it. I’m fine with walking, but when I have to do something that shows how physically out of shape I really am, it frightens me to think about what people are thinking about me. I do the same thing with gyms. If I’m not going with a friend, it’s hard for me to work up the courage to work out when there are other people around who are physically more fit than me. I hate that I think that way, and I try really hard to not do that, but it ends up not working.

Does anyone else feel this way? I’m still working out the answers as to how I can get past this mental block. I have friends who have said that they would run with me, and that’s fine if it were to go workout on individual equipment, but they are runners themselves and I would feel that I would be keeping them back from getting the most out of their exercise, and I’d feel bad about that. I think one day I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. For most of the stuff in my life, once I just dive right in I’m fine. Until then it’s still a major obstacle that I need to overcome. I am so jealous of everyone who is constantly signing up for marathons or runs and coming back with stories of how they beat their personal record, how much fun they had, how their sense of accomplishment afterword, even the medals and t-shirts make me jealous. I guess if I ever want to make it happen, I need to do it right and stop letting myself mentally not?

Easier said than done.

21 Day Challenge

I absolutely love Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice tea. It really is fabulous, you should all try it. I also love that it is cold enough outside for me to enjoy a warm cup of tea. I hate drinking hot liquids when it gets hot out, although I love the taste. Very fitting since I am sitting here watching a marathon of Antishay’s Youtube videos, since she is the one who recommended it. I am trying to find inspiration, motivation, and the mindset that I can do this, and I can start this journey again.

Hi, it’s me. I feel that I need to let you in on a secret. I know in the last post I said that I was tracking again. That wasn’t a lie, per se, but it became one. I tracked for a day. I don’t even think half a day before I stopped again. For no reason this time. I’m not working right now, and I don’t have money to warrant any sort of social life to distract me from it. I just didn’t do it. I feel awful. I feel awful for not doing it, and I feel awful for feeling awful about not doing it. I have been doing some soul searching, and really trying to find out what makes me do the things that I do, and I have realized that I need to work on not being so down on myself, especially in situtaions like this. It is ok for me to not track, it’s not the end of the world, and I can always start again, yet when I don’t track I give up and think of myself as a failure. It’s going to be hard to work through, since my entire life has been this way but knowing truly is half the battle, and I feel that I can work on this and in the long run help me out with my goals.

That being said, I am tracking again. Well, I will be starting tomorrow since the day is already gone (considering it’s past midnight now). There has been this trend on Youtube for a while to do a “21 Day Challenge”. The concept is that it takes about 21 days for something to become a habit, and so by challenging your self to do something for 21 days, it will become a habit. I have decided to incorporate that now, and I have challenged myself of three things:

  1. Track my food
  2. Drink 150 oz of water daily
  3. Pick up at least one thing a day, to keep the place tidy

It will be nice to challenge myself, and hopefully after these 21 days things will be a bit easier. I hope to get back to doing weigh-ins on Sundays, and to update this blog more, and also update my Youtube channel more. I in fact just put up a new video announcing my semi return.

Youtube will still be hard since I still do not have internet, but I enjoy putting up videos. I realized after I stopped doing the collab channel with my friend Evelyn, I missed having a document of my life to look back. So maybe my Youtube will incorporate more of my life outside of weight loss. I don’t want to put those things on my challenge, because honestly right now they aren’t the much of a priority for me.

Yesterday was Thunder Over Louisville. If you don’t live anywhere near here, Thunder is the big kick off for the anticipated Derby. There was an air show in the morning and fireworks display at night. I walked down to the riverfront (which is only about a mile away) and watched the air show, walked back to the apartment and then headed up to the roof of our building to watch the show. It’s pretty convenient to have that option, even though the Marriott blocks the view of the cool fireworks on the bridge, but it’s still better than trying to deal with the crowds. It gets insane. It’s crazy watching all the drunken people walk back to where they are parked (which is usually 2+ miles from the riverfront) and all the cars trying to leave downtown, it’s like a massive apocolypse had just occured.

That’s it for me. Hope all is well with everyone.

Also…

I’m recording and plugging into Lose It! all of my food and calories again.

I feel slowly that I’m accomplishing getting back to a healthy state of mind and body again.

I’m excited.

Grocery Shopping Dilemma

So, I’ve been using the time off I’ve had since my contract ended last week to clean the house, get rid of some of the crap I am holding onto for no reason, look for another job, and work on getting my place looking less like a college dorm and more like an actual grownup space…well, as much as I can in a studio apartment.

Saturday I headed over to a Target on the other side of Bardstown, which was in a shopping center with a Wal-Mart and Lowes, mainly to look at there bedding but to also see the commute time since I have just applied there. I ended up heading over to Wal-Mart after Target because I have been in there before, and although I hate all Wal-Marts this is one of the better ones (of the super stores, the Neighborhood Markets are a different story). Even in the middle of the day on a weekend, they weren’t too crazy. I went there soley because I know that they have Cabot cheese.

Cabot cheese is delicious. It’s one of my favorite cheeses in the world, and it’s the one thing I’ve missed not living in Florida. You could find them everywhere in Florida! And on sale. In Kentucky, Whole Foods, Wal-Mart and Costco are the only two places that sell them. And it is ridiculously over priced at Whole Foods. The main reason I went for this cheese, is because even though right now in my vegetarian diet I’m not being strict about rennetless cheeses (mainly in restaurants, but sometimes in a money pinch I’ll buy whatever), I made a pact with myself to always buy when I could, and Cabot does not contain any animal rennet in it, thus making it the best cheese in existence. I walked around a little more while I was there and found the Morningstar Farms turkey burgers. When I ate meat, I prefered a turkey burger over regular and have been dying to try it, but none of the Whole Food/Krogers/Fresh Markets had them. This Wal-Mart not only had them, they had some of their other new products, and quite a bit of vegetarian selection.

Thus my predicament, Wal-Mart continuously has products that I regularly get, at discounted prices and products that no one else has. This isn’t the first time they have been the only place to have a certain product. They also carry the brand of tzatziki I like the best (with the best ingredients, and no added crap), they carry Sabra hummus for at least a dollar less than any other store, and a great bag of mixed frozen fruits that I use in my smoothies .

I really try not to shop at Wal-Mart, because I don’t like the atmosphere of the store, nor do I like (most of) the people who shop there, or the hassle of being in that crowded of a place. Wal-Mart is known to not be the best (ethically) place in existance, and it’s hard for me to be ok with supporting them through my money, but it still doesn’t change the fact that they carry these things that not only are leading to helping me with a better lifestyle, but also with my limited budget helping me not have to spend as much. It’s a hard moral dilemma, and there are always other sides. Even though I may not want to support them, my money does go towards the salaries of everyone who works there, and they deserve to have a job that gives them money just as much as I do. People with limited budgets deserve to have a place like Wal-Mart where they can buy more for their money when they have limited means.

Will I be shopping there more regularly now? For now, yes. But I intend only to purchase the things I know that I can’t buy at other places. One thing is for sure, Wal-Mart does listen to the customers and provide the products that they want, and that’s something.