to look to the future

Hi!

So, if you hadn’t realized I started back on my Youtube channel (finally!) and I’m super excited about it even though I wasn’t super excited to tell the world my super high weight. I’ve made it my mission that no matter what I will do at least two videos a week on that channel. I still weigh-in on Sundays, but in the cases of days I forget to weigh-in I’ll still make a video to make up for that whether it be a recipe, or to just talk to the camera randomly. On that front, I’ve decided to propose a challenge to myself on this blog as well. Call it the September challenge if you will. I will blog at least 3 times a week.

Last week my weigh-in was at 325.2. I know, I know. Trust me, I’m still trying to cope with it. When you’ve jumped up that high it makes it really hard to reevaluate what to do and move forward. But, I keep telling myself not to dwell in the past, but to look to the future. I can’t get higher, I don’t want to get higher. I’ve got to move my butt and get my weight down! I’ve notice the weight doing terribly things to me physically. I don’t want to do anything just because normal activities make me more tired than ever and that absolutely scares me. I don’t like how I look, I can’t fit into any of the jeans that I could months ago, work is harder, doing things after work like extra work or going out takes a lot of me. I look horrible and most days don’t even want anyone to see me. I don’t want this cycle to continue, and I absolutely do not to gain more weight. Period.

So what am I going to do? Start from the absolute very beginning. Watching what I eat and making subtle choices, then gradually over time step it up more. I’m going to post more on this site, and post more on Youtube because when I have something to do with all the change and the (hopeful) weight loss it’s really empowering to be able to track it down and see it on paper. The things that helped me before, I’m just going to do and not wine about it (like I have).

This weeks weigh-in came out to a maintain. I didn’t do anything this week but regroup and think about things. I’ve also had two big things happen this week. Not to make excuses, but lets be real that life does make an absolute impact on emotions and the way they handle things. First, was completing a huge outside gig which Heather and I realized half way through that we shouldn’t have accepted, and the second and best thing-in my opinion- is that I got a cat! Well, kitten. She’s 6-7 months old, and absolutely adorable. I got her from a friend who had been fostering her since they found her in the alley next to their house. Her name is Lizzy and she’s a calico. I think she is finally getting used to things, and realizing that she finally has a home and has become more playful and rambunctious. I don’t think she’s really had a kitten life yet and she’s finally getting that combined with a whole house of toys and consistent good food and water. The only problem is that she loves 6 am 🙂 Second was finishing a huge project that I had. Ontop of those two things, this week was the opening of Sense and Sensibility and I started out the week with a nasty cold.

Here’s to taking the small baby steps into a healthier journey

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