weigh-in #30, car issues, and life issues

I weighed in today on both the old an new scale. There was about a 2 pound difference between the two, the old one weighing me at 329.4 and the new one at 327. The new scale did give me a couple of different read outs, and I was a bit worried but it seems ok. I think I’m extra paranoid now about things. I could have just kept with my old scale, but I couldn’t justify something that had to sit there for a week to calibrate. Now I’ll just use it as a backup should anything happen. I do love the new look of the new scale. It’s really  nice looking, and the blue-lit read out is so much easier to read. It also keeps the weight a while after I step off, which my old one never did.

No matter the number, it still a gain of 1.2. I am fine with this, I was horrible in calories for most of the week last week and I understand why I gained. I’m glad it was only that much, if I hadn’t tried desperately hard to fix it towards the end of the week it probably would have been more. I am surprised that I have kept tracking. Before in states like this, I would stop tracking. To “hide” the amount I had gone over, this is not one of those times and I am happy for this small improvement. It still doesn’t make it right, but I feel like I’m getting better.

That being said, today my awesome friend Braden came to help fix the car. We assumed it was just a dead battery and took it to AutoZone who tested it and confirmed it was dead. I got the new came back and installed it…and it still didn’t work. We tried other things, including jumping it and letting it run for a while but as soon as I put my foot on the brake it died. Needless to say, today is not ending on a good note. I fear having to tow it and get a huge bill that I can’t afford but it HAS to be fixed. It’s insanely essential for my job and it needs to get done.

I get paranoid about things that I haven’t had to do, and I’ve never once had to figure out what to do in this kind of situation. Do I call a tow place and get it sent to the Mazda dealership? Does Mazda have their own service? Do I pay for the tow seperatly? Do I have to be there when the tow comes of the shop? I don’t like not knowing, and I don’t like the fact that I might sound completely stupid about not knowing and that just stresses me out even more. My anxiety wants nothing more to not think of it and be done.

It’s fun to look at the YMCA

I’m not lying when I say the YMCA is close to my apartment. I literally can look into the building and see the people on the treadmills and elipiticals. It’s very depressing actually. One of the things I do love, and would like to continue doing is yoga. I’ve priced the studios around here, and most of them are around the $50 a class range.

$50!? That’s out of my price range and then some, I don’t want to spend $200 a month on four classes. The Y offers yoga classes, plus others classes like pilates and spin classes, AND access to a gym for around $52 a month. I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a lot and definitely beneficial but I’m not getting paid very much. My position is not as a full artisan, I’m more of an apprentice, and although I’m making enough to survive without outside help or a second job (although I do have some outside upholstery jobs on the side to bring in some extra fun/help me money), I really am living paycheck to paycheck, I’m not much over minimum wage. It’s a lot to fork out a month.

I don’t know. I do have some free alternatives. My apartment building does have a tiny gym, although I’ve really never been in it, and I do live downtown so I could take long walks, but it really isn’t the same as a full gym, especially on the classes front. I would definitely have to be creative with my budget to work the membership in, and I do have some outside gigs that will help out. I don’t know, am I just making excuses to get out of not going? I don’t think so, but I can’t help but feel subconsciously that’s happening. Although, every day when I come home I turn to Heather and tell her about how I’m depressed that everyone is walking into or out of the building in gym clothes on and I’m literally not even a half block away and I’m not using that to my advantage. I don’t have to buy parking when I go there. I don’t have to park my car on the street and feed quarters into the slot, I would just have to walk 30 seconds across the street. Not everyone has the advantage, I mean the saving of money on just the parking garage is insane.

Blah. Money is not fun. Not having a lot to have to worry whether 52 a month on getting healthier and improving my life is not fun.

What do you think?