weigh-in #30, car issues, and life issues

I weighed in today on both the old an new scale. There was about a 2 pound difference between the two, the old one weighing me at 329.4 and the new one at 327. The new scale did give me a couple of different read outs, and I was a bit worried but it seems ok. I think I’m extra paranoid now about things. I could have just kept with my old scale, but I couldn’t justify something that had to sit there for a week to calibrate. Now I’ll just use it as a backup should anything happen. I do love the new look of the new scale. It’s really¬† nice looking, and the blue-lit read out is so much easier to read. It also keeps the weight a while after I step off, which my old one never did.

No matter the number, it still a gain of 1.2. I am fine with this, I was horrible in calories for most of the week last week and I understand why I gained. I’m glad it was only that much, if I hadn’t tried desperately hard to fix it towards the end of the week it probably would have been more. I am surprised that I have kept tracking. Before in states like this, I would stop tracking. To “hide” the amount I had gone over, this is not one of those times and I am happy for this small improvement. It still doesn’t make it right, but I feel like I’m getting better.

That being said, today my awesome friend Braden came to help fix the car. We assumed it was just a dead battery and took it to AutoZone who tested it and confirmed it was dead. I got the new came back and installed it…and it still didn’t work. We tried other things, including jumping it and letting it run for a while but as soon as I put my foot on the brake it died. Needless to say, today is not ending on a good note. I fear having to tow it and get a huge bill that I can’t afford but it HAS to be fixed. It’s insanely essential for my job and it needs to get done.

I get paranoid about things that I haven’t had to do, and I’ve never once had to figure out what to do in this kind of situation. Do I call a tow place and get it sent to the Mazda dealership? Does Mazda have their own service? Do I pay for the tow seperatly? Do I have to be there when the tow comes of the shop? I don’t like not knowing, and I don’t like the fact that I might sound completely stupid about not knowing and that just stresses me out even more. My anxiety wants nothing more to not think of it and be done.

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It’s fun to look at the YMCA

I’m not lying when I say the YMCA is close to my apartment. I literally can look into the building and see the people on the treadmills and elipiticals. It’s very depressing actually. One of the things I do love, and would like to continue doing is yoga. I’ve priced the studios around here, and most of them are around the $50 a class range.

$50!? That’s out of my price range and then some, I don’t want to spend $200 a month on four classes. The Y offers yoga classes, plus others classes like pilates and spin classes, AND access to a gym for around $52 a month. I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a lot and definitely beneficial but I’m not getting paid very much. My position is not as a full artisan, I’m more of an apprentice, and although I’m making enough to survive without outside help or a second job (although I do have some outside upholstery jobs on the side to bring in some extra fun/help me money), I really am living paycheck to paycheck, I’m not much over minimum wage. It’s a lot to fork out a month.

I don’t know. I do have some free alternatives. My apartment building does have a tiny gym, although I’ve really never been in it, and I do live downtown so I could take long walks, but it really isn’t the same as a full gym, especially on the classes front. I would definitely have to be creative with my budget to work the membership in, and I do have some outside gigs that will help out. I don’t know, am I just making excuses to get out of not going? I don’t think so, but I can’t help but feel subconsciously that’s happening. Although, every day when I come home I turn to Heather and tell her about how I’m depressed that everyone is walking into or out of the building in gym clothes on and I’m literally not even a half block away and I’m not using that to my advantage. I don’t have to buy parking when I go there. I don’t have to park my car on the street and feed quarters into the slot, I would just have to walk 30 seconds across the street. Not everyone has the advantage, I mean the saving of money on just the parking garage is insane.

Blah. Money is not fun. Not having a lot to have to worry whether 52 a month on getting healthier and improving my life is not fun.

What do you think?