costco. overnight oats. snacks.

The first thing I need to address: did you know that Costco’s brand of shampoo and conditioner are vegan? Seriously, best day of my life.

And yes, I did go to Costco again this week. I may be slightly obsessed.

The real reason I wanted to write a post (besides my endless want to get better at being regular about updating this blog) is to talk about my What I Ate Wednesday. Because it was really good. I ate a lot of really great stuff and I want to look back at this post as a reminder, a motivator, that eating healthy is awesome and delicious because I still need to remind myself of that when I stray and cave into cravings.

I started out the day with some green tea with lemon and sugar. I used to drink this almost every morning, and for some reason when it gets hot out I gravitate to coffee. The mornings have been kind of cold, but cold enough that tea is wanted.

I also made a really awesome overnight oats jar.

It’s super simple:

• 1/4cup of raw oats
• ~1/8th of a cup of almond milk
• 1 Silk Fruity and Creamy soy vanilla yogurt cup (my new love!)
• strawberries
• raspberries

Throw it all together and put it in the fridge for the night. The oats soak up all the liquids and it has a cake batter type taste to it. I like it much more than I like regular oatmeal.

I had some coffee with Silk creamer while I was at my desk Photoshopping. The guys leave the a/c on a ridiculous temp so when I sit at my desk for a while Photoshopping I get cold.

For our mid-day break, I had some of Trader Joe’s nut mix that I had per-portioned out into small Tupperware cups.

Lunch was my new favorite. I had a mixed greens salad with avocado, grape tomatoes, and raspberry vinaigrette I got at Whole Foods which is probably one of the best dressings I’ve had and it’s only 45 calories a serving. I had a serving of the Earth Balance cheese puffs, an apple, and the only bad thing: Diet Dr Pepper. Please don’t judge, I know. I know.

Second break I had a banana. I met and exceeded my fruit quota for the day.

Dinner was roasted spaghetti squash. Super simple, I just halved the squash and put 1/2 tbsp of Earth Balance garlic and herb spread on both sides, added salt and pepper, and some minced garlic and roasted until soft. I mixed it up with some sauteed mushrooms.

It was a really good day.

wiaw. weigh-ins. updates. blah-dee-blah

Oh hey, poor forgotten blog.

Not that you really expected me to follow through with my posting plan. But I tried, didn’t I. And a post even days late still counts. Considering its my blog, and since I’m not getting paid to do anything specific, I can do as I like.

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So, without further ado my WIAW:

I started off the morning with a good old standby:

• Keurig coffee
• Packet of Truvia
• 1.5 ounces of Silk coffee creamer (vanilla). Yes, I do measure it out

For a snack during the day at work I had some decaf Republic of Tea vanilla almond tea with 2 packets of sugar. I convinced my boss when we needed to replace our old water fountain (water cooler?) that the upgrade with the cold AND hot would be really good. It is good, and I don’t have to wait for the microwave for hot water for tea

For lunch I had Lilly’s brand kalamata hummus with some Crunch Master multi-grain crackers. Both I bought because they were on sale at Rainbow Blossom, and both I actually liked. Not the best of either, but the combo was good and I had it for most of the week because I’m lazy with lunches. I also had a bottle of Hubert’s diet blackberry lemonade. It was really good, and had Stevia as the sweetener so bonus points for that (especially since I didn’t even realize it was diet when I grabbed it, which in hindsight is stupid because look at how big the “diet” is on the bottle).

I then kind of had a splurge. I was at Earth Fare, hungry, and wanted something so I got some of their vegan chicken salad and a mini loaf of bread. I also then picked up the Rice Dream mint chocolate pie. I didn’t end up eating most of the chicken salad/bread because it really wasn’t good, but I did eat the ice cream. I should have just gotten the ice cream, less calories and less money. If you want vegan chicken salad, go to Whole Foods, so much better.

Even with the splurge I was still doing pretty ok on calories and I made a really awesome meal of quinoa with onions, broccoli, mushrooms, and Beyond Meat chicken strips.

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I didn’t do a weigh-in this week. I know I gained and I just couldn’t face the scale. My portions and calories were out of control. I really have no excuse except letting my urges get the best of me. I’m trying my best to recover and turn it around. So far today I’ve been pretty awesome, and really re-learning and re-teaching my body to be ok with being hungry when I don’t need to eat, and not falling for every craving. It’s a battle, but I’ll get there. There was one glimmer of change for the better during the week when I went for a walk as soon as I got home from work. I threw the purse in the trunk and just took off. That was the moment I knew, that even though I wasn’t exactly there, there was hope left.

weigh-in #44. grocery haul.

So, today was my weigh-in. It wasn’t pretty. I knew it was going to be horrible, I have been eating horrendously. I have a habit of being perfect, and on point with calories and food decisions up until dinner and blow it all on high calorie binges. This showed in the scale with around a 4 pound gain.

Yep.

I’m not happy about it, I’m not excited. I am ashamed and saddened by it. But, life goes on and this is just a bump in the journey. I’m taking it one day at a time trying to turn it around, and I think that’s all I can do. I’ve also been doing things that I know motivate me. The one thing I can not let myself do is blame myself, to the point I worsen the damage. This is not the end of the world, it’s a gentle nudge to tell me to try harder.

I went to Whole Foods to stock up on things for the fridge. I haven’t really done a proper shop since I’ve come back (I was out of peanut butter and I didn’t even know it) and this was a good start with lots of things that are not only healthy, but have helped keep me in check in the past. I figured a good old grocery haul in image form would be fun, and lighten up the mood in this post.

• Califia Farms unsweetened almond milk
• Califia Farms vanilla almond milk <~ These were still on sale! So excited
• Tofutti sour cream
• Earth Balance

• Bulk popcorn kernels
• 365 ketchup
• 365 crunchy peanut butter
• Mediterranean leek and onion crackers
• Oasis roasted red pepper hummus
• Field Roast meatloaf
• Bulk nutritional yeast

• Grape tomatoes
• Snap/sugar peas
• Baby carrots
• Gala apples
• Cauliflower

I have a lot of pantry items to use and still have some kale and mushrooms from a previous trip, but this I know will help me start getting into a better routine and prepare better meals, along with healthier snacks.

Also, the splurge of the day goes to:

Isn’t she pretty? I loooove glass water bottles (not the price…) and I couldn’t resist because of the size (a whole 22 ounces) and the top. I have a smaller one of the Life Factory bottles with just the screw on top. I love it. It’s durable, the glass is so much easier to clean (and doesn’t start to do that weird scratching/cloudiness that bugs me) and I use it at work all the time. My only problem was the top. I need a water bottle that is a covered top (for safety reasons in the shop), but sometimes I don’t have two free hands so the top was always a nuisance. I think this is going to be the winner in all of my issues with the added bonus of a strap and more ounces. One of the things I’m pushing towards is drinking my water. Now I can leave this one at work, and take my old one home.

carbs. carbs. bleh.

Carbs, carbs, carbs.

I absolutely 100% adore the Vegan Zombie boys, but they need to stop making such amazing food that is not only GOOD but easy to make. Especially the mac and cheese. Admittedly not exactly like the real thing, but still amazing. I tried making it yesterday with less calories and the whole nine yards (which I did drastically accomplish) but I still ended up eating the entire thing in the past two days. Mostly last night. I had like 1200 calories of the stuff in one sitting. I know, I know. Horrible. No good. Very bad. I now know that it is a huge trigger food and I need to be mindful of that. Or only make it when I can get others to eat the rest of it. But it’s so good.

My saving grace is that even with that excessiveness I still had calories left for the day yesterday because of the big Humana strike. But. Still. Not good. I feel all of my foods have been very off this week. I know I’m not making the right choices to keep me fueled, especially since my “exercise” was bumped up drastically. On Monday I had 8,000 steps by noon. And that was 8,000 steps of lifting and carrying heavy objects and furniture and then unloading them. The weather has also shifted back from freezing to 80’s so I have been dehydrated as well.

I’m really pushing hard to correct my eating back to whole foods, good sources of protein and WATER. Lots of water. Weightloss can’t be about just maintaining losing weight calories, it’s got to be about the quality of foods as well. I always feel better when I eat healthier foods. Remember this, Jessie.

Weigh-In #37

It’s been a while since I have posted anything. I think this is a direct corralation to the fact that I posted my last weigh-in video really late this week. I had originally intended it for it to be up Tuesday night (when I filmed it) and didn’t realize till Thursday that it had failed. But, I made one! That’s at least some dedication right? I was originally going to do it on Sunday, per norm, but by the time my friend left it was later and I just didn’t feel like doing it. It was purely about laziness than anything else.

I gained .6 last week, which I knew had to be water weight/having had more carby-alcohol than normal close to weigh-in (but still in calories!)/and the arrival of my period that led to the gain. Even knowing this, sometimes it sucks to see the number on the scale go up when you know you’ve been doing excellent. I didn’t really let that get me down, and this past week I had a really awesome week. I went out for walks more, I stayed within calories, I ate relatively good foods, and it paid off. Big time.

This week I weighed in at 304.8 which is a loss of 7.8 lbs. Holy. Crap. You know what the beauty of this number is? I didn’t have to do all that much to attain it. I went for walks, and I ate food at normal portions/calories (my calories are set at 1700 on MyFitnessPal currently) and at normal times, and I didn’t dwell too hard about anything. When I wanted to walk, I walked. If I only wanted to do a mile, I just did a mile. If I was hungry I ate good snacks of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. It’s so inspiring to keep this up when it’s becoming so much more easier. I feel it in my body, and it gives me the confidence to just want to continue. I also have the energy too. It’s harder to do things weighing as much as I do, and just moving a little bit more each day it has led to increased motivation both mentally and physically to just keep doing it.

I am rational, and know that numbers like this directly relate to how overweight I am, and that it could get harder sooner than I think, I still love the way I’m starting to look, and knowing that getting below 300 is a very really possible in just a short time. My lowest weight recorded is 285.2. That was back on August 11th of 2010. Getting down to that is one of my first “goals” that I have had in the back of my head. And it’s so attainable.

weightloss. 10,00 steps challenge.

Hi! So yesterday was weigh-in, and I lost 5.4lbs. Huzzah! I was totally not expecting that at all. I did poorly at the beginning of the week with my calories, but I guess towards the end of the week with pretty solid calories and the combination of doing a lot of putting away in stock, I ended up with that loss. I also think that the last two weeks being somewhat a maintain was sort of a carry over for me for that loss. At any rate, I’m super excited about it. I weighed in on MyFitnessPal and I am now down to a new lower calorie limit. We’ll see how this week goes with that change.

I am now at 312, which the last record I have at that weight was March 3, 2011. Although that is disheartening, I can only look to the future. I notice every day that my body is changing. Pants don’t fit any more, I walk more quickly, am willing to do more things. I am much more conscious about the things that I eat, and my portions (which is the biggest thing for me). I am starting to feel really good, and I think that is all that really matters.

I also decided that since my hectic Humana days are over I need to up the exercise and I decided to do that with something that can be fairly easy for me: a 10,000 steps challenge. I’m wearing my FitBit every day this week and I want to accomplish 10,000 steps every day. What’s great is that I have a bunch of leeway with that challenge. I could end up doing 10,000 steps at work, and then I won’t have to do anything elsewhere. But if I don’t, I need to make up for it somehow. Whether it is going for a walk, or walking around my house.

Today, as of 8pm, I have a little over 8,000 steps. I’m worried that today might not be a good day to start this challenge and then fail. I tried hard, but I didn’t really factor in that it would be Spring and snowing outside. I did go over to the grocery store and walk the aisles to try to make up for it, and to stay indoors, but it’s a little hairy now. I’ve been kind of cleaning around the house, so we’ll see at Midnight what happens. Here’s hoping for the best!

let downs.

Lately I’ve been in a slump. I could blame it on personal issues that have happened in the my life, or the fact that I’m working so much, but those are just excuses and shouldn’t really lead to such a “downward spiral” (for lack of a better phrase). I had been going so good in this weight loss journey: tracking, losing weight, eating healthier, sticking to my portions. But these last few weeks I’ve been in this broken record where I’m eating great one day, and the next not so great. Or eating perfect during the day until I get to dinner. I don’t like it, at all. It’s been leading to me indulging in more than I should-more than I want- and this past week’s weigh-in is an indicator of that.

I’m trying so hard to get out of that, but I feel myself slowly slipping back into my old ways. Sleeping in and rushing out the door without breakfast, high calorie snacking, hardly eating anything at lunch and then coming home to high calorie dinners. I don’t like it. Not only do I feel it in my body, but I just feel it in my being. I had this really great thing going where I would wake up in the mornings and have breakfast with green tea. It woke me up, and I felt a little bit better walking out the door to work. And then I would come home and eat a good dinner and end the day with a relaxing cup of tea. I’m not doing any of that now. I haven’t eaten breakfast in probably a week. I don’t even drink the tea because my calories have been up.

It’s a fine line that I’m hovering at. In one hand, I have to see the good that I am doing. The things that I’m doing now that I wouldn’t be doing when times would be like this. I’m still tracking, even if it’s going to tell me I ate 400 more calories than I should have. I still make better choices. But as I said in a post below, just because the bag of chips is half the calories of a normal one, it still doesn’t make eating the whole bag ok. But where do I cross the line of congratulating myself for those better steps, to discouraging the lack of improvement?

I don’t want to let myself down again. I don’t want to slowly give up like I have in the past. It scares me. I don’t want to be obese anymore. I don’t want to be depressed because of my weight. I don’t want to look in the mirror every morning and be disgusted with the body I see. I don’t want to think about the fact that I might die because of my weight. You would think that would be enough to get me into gear. To make me take control of my life. But it’s hard. It’s really, really hard. It’s really hard to see how far you have got, to see other people just have it so much easier. To will myself that I can do it and not look at the countless times in the past I haven’t done it and not think that it’s a hopeless cause. That I’ve already wasted away my years and there is no purpose at all.

Weight loss is so fucking hard. It really is.

weight loss. humana. veganism. birthdays.

It’s been a while since I posted here. Honestly, it’s been a little too hectic in my life to really sit down and write anything. I also really haven’t had anything to say, so that has prevented me from using my energy and free time to post anything of importance. I lost weight this past week, and am feeling really good. I had wanted to get into more of an exercise routine, but I realized after eating horribly a couple of times and still losing that my body is getting plenty of work just being at…well, work. If the past two days of my FitBit are any indication, I think you’ll agree that it’s for the best. I’ve been doing over 10,000 steps just at work alone. While it would be awesome to workout and do as much at work, it really doesn’t make sense to me right now. I don’t have as much free time to devote to it, and if I did I risk cutting into much needed down time and sickness. I can NOT get sick, so I’m doing what’s best for my body now. Once work slows out and I end the season exercise will need to be put back into my every day life. I tell ya, the best diet is the Humana Festival diet.

My vegan diet has been going swimmingly. I love it. It truly is like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. It’s not as hard as I thought it would be, which is even more reassuring that there can be success. That being said, I haven’t been faced with a restaurant or being somewhere where there is next to nothing in vegan choices, but for now it’s great. I really do love it, it’s been putting my mind at ease and I’ve been really creative when it comes to cooking and eating.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 29. Eek! The time flies by so quickly. How am I almost 30? It’s so scary. My parent officially put their house for sale too. The picture of the “For Sale” post my mom sent me in e-mail threw me. I have to make it down during the summer before I don’t have another option too. Life is happening too quickly for me right now. It’s kind of overwhelming. But that’s how it goes, doesn’t it?

Even though those parts of life are going by fast, I’m enjoying my weightloss, my new found diet, and the energy I have regained. Those aspects only push me to know that I am in the right path, and I want to do everything I can to continue. I even synced my twitter account with my youtube. That’s huge for me, I’m a pretty private person (especially when it comes to people I actually know) so unlocking that one step was a huge turning point for me. Doing the videos and keeping up with the blog is helping me come out of my shell a little bit more. Babys steps, but I’m getting there

weightloss, documentaries, and veganism.

Yesterday was weigh-in and I lost 2 lbs! I was super, no good, very bad, this week calorie wise though. The only explanation I have from the loss is the fact that during the day during those bad times I was super on point with calories, and I think a combination of that and my body needing more calories from work (overtime + doing exercise-type jobs like scrapping wine labels off of bottles for 2 hours straight) helped even out everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love the loss, but those days of binging are not good. At all. I need to work on that this week (hello, broken record Jessie. Remember saying that last week?) and get back to eating healthier foods.

On the healthier foods point, I spent all of my Sunday doing nothing but laundry and in the glorious trap that is Netflix instant queue. More specifically: the documentaries. I love watching them, I always get inspired and learn new things. It was a nice way to veg out and not do anything that was work. I ended up watching a series of documentaries: Vegucated, No Impact Man, and Forks Over Knives.

It’s no secret that I have been wanting to go vegan for a while. Years ago I thought it wasn’t something I could do. I was also kind of scared. What if I mess up? What if people judge me because I’m fat and I’m vegan? For years I’ve been a vegetarian (and most of my life semi-vegetarian), and it wasn’t really hard for me. It was hard when I would come to struggles like dining hall food in college, or instant cravings for food of the fast food variety, but other than that it was easy. I like vegetables, I like vegetarian foods, I enjoy the impact I have in terms of animal rights. Hell, I even eat most meals vegan. But for the past couple of years, something in my gut always told me that wasn’t enough.

I’m not going to stand on a soapbox and say that eating animal products is bad and that you are monster if you do. I think everyone has to decide what’s right for them, and at least hear the other person’s side on why it is important to them. In my heart I knew that just giving up meat wasn’t enough. I knew about what was happening in the dairy and egg farms, and by eating those products I was still hurting animals.

So, for the past year I have been slowly fazing out animal products in favor of vegan alternatives (or something completely different). I still ate cheese from time to time, and had things like yogurt or cottage cheese. I didn’t even think about it when I was out at meals, it was hardly ever vegan. I wasn’t super awesome about checking product labels, so things like bread would normally not be vegan. Frozen items generally had cheese. Then, a couple of months (maybe more?) I thought about fully switching over. I wrote a post about it, possibly on Tumblr? I wanted to do it slowly and finally get there.

If there is anything I can say about my life is that doing things “slowly” doesn’t work out for me. I have to just up and do it. No ifs, ands, or buts. Just do it. I wanted to stop biting my nails? I just do it. I wanted to learn how to tie my shoe? Just did it. I wanted to give up red meat and pork when I was in middle school? Just did it. I wanted to start losing weight? After months (years) of me starting “slowly” it took one day for me just to pick up MyFitnessPal and just do it. And here I am, more than 20 pounds lighter.

Those documentaries really got to me, as they should, but also my heart got to me. I just can’t deal with that dread I feel inside. I’m not perfect, and never will be. That’s the beauty of ” just doing it”. There will always be set backs (hello last two weeks of high calorie days) but it’s the just do it mentality that gets past those upsets and continues on to the next day, afresh.

I’m going vegan.

I think I’ll be a lot happier in the long run.

 

fibit challenge updates, life stress, and filofaxes.

I feel like I haven’t posted in a very long time. It’s been quite a rough week. It started with getting my car finally fixed (thankfully not a terrible problem, and took no time to get it back) and between that, overtime and some personal issues I am quickly slipping. I’ve had some bad days in eating, and I really have been struggling to get out of that. I have been making better choices but still, eating a bag of chips is bad whether it’s regular Lays or Baked Kettle Chips. The calories may be considerably different, but it’s still not healthy. I see that slight hint at not going fully under very helpful that I am at least doing more than I would have in the past. This next week I’m going to be really working on it. I have to work a full day tomorrow, and then overtime the rest of the week so it’s going to be rough.

I have kept up with my self-imposed FitBit challenge. I only have missed one day, and that was because my ride came sooner than expected and I had to rush out the door. I had even remembered it and moved it to where I was dressing. Sadly it stayed behind and I realized a mile from my place. This is what the challenge is for though, to get into the habit of wearing it. I move more with it on, and I really like seeing the differences in days. I’m thinking of taking the challenge a step up, but I don’t know if I’m willing to do it. I’m thinking of doing a full week of the minimum 10,000 steps. I don’t know how doable this is because of working so much, but maybe? We’ll see

I was a little bad today and hit up Target/Michaels/Staples….

My Filofax is already looking more and more cute, and more and more useful. I’m still working out the kinks, and what works but it really has been coming along and I love it. I spent the day organizing it some more and I have been finding it relaxing, especially after the week I’ve had. I don’t know if I’ll be using those pieces of grey cardstock for anything yet or just keep it in my crafting stash but they were on clearance and I figured spending the whole dollar wasn’t terrible.

I still have a while to go, but I will show my organization on the blog. I thought about doing a video, but I have decided to only doing a video on my health/weightloss areas of the FiloFax. It just suits the vlog more. But here…here we can do whatever we want! So look out for that in the next couple of weeks.

Tomorrow is weigh-in. Eek!