costco. overnight oats. snacks.

The first thing I need to address: did you know that Costco’s brand of shampoo and conditioner are vegan? Seriously, best day of my life.

And yes, I did go to Costco again this week. I may be slightly obsessed.

The real reason I wanted to write a post (besides my endless want to get better at being regular about updating this blog) is to talk about my What I Ate Wednesday. Because it was really good. I ate a lot of really great stuff and I want to look back at this post as a reminder, a motivator, that eating healthy is awesome and delicious because I still need to remind myself of that when I stray and cave into cravings.

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I started out the day with some green tea with lemon and sugar. I used to drink this almost every morning, and for some reason when it gets hot out I gravitate to coffee. The mornings have been kind of cold, but cold enough that tea is wanted.

I also made a really awesome overnight oats jar.

It’s super simple:

  • 1/4cup of raw oats
  • ~1/8th of a cup of almond milk
  • 1 Silk Fruity and Creamy soy vanilla yogurt cup (my new love!)
  • strawberries
  • raspberries

Throw it all together and put it in the fridge for the night. The oats soak up all the liquids and it has a cake batter type taste to it. I like it much more than I like regular oatmeal.

I had some coffee with Silk creamer while I was at my desk Photoshopping. The guys leave the a/c on a ridiculous temp so when I sit at my desk for a while Photoshopping I get cold.

For our mid-day break, I had some of Trader Joe’s nut mix that I had per-portioned out into small Tupperware cups.

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Lunch was my new favorite. I had a mixed greens salad with avocado, grape tomatoes, and raspberry vinaigrette I got at Whole Foods which is probably one of the best dressings I’ve had and it’s only 45 calories a serving. I had a serving of the Earth Balance cheese puffs, an apple, and the only bad thing: Diet Dr Pepper. Please don’t judge, I know. I know.

Second break I had a banana. I met and exceeded my fruit quota for the day.

Dinner was roasted spaghetti squash. Super simple, I just halved the squash and put 1/2 tbsp of Earth Balance garlic and herb spread on both sides, added salt and pepper, and some minced garlic and roasted until soft. I mixed it up with some sauteed mushrooms.

It was a really good day.

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wiaw. weigh-ins. updates. blah-dee-blah

Oh hey, poor forgotten blog.

Not that you really expected me to follow through with my posting plan. But I tried, didn’t I. And a post even days late still counts. Considering its my blog, and since I’m not getting paid to do anything specific, I can do as I like.

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So, without further ado my WIAW:

I started off the morning with a good old standby:

  • Keurig coffee
  • Packet of Truvia
  • 1.5 ounces of Silk coffee creamer (vanilla). Yes, I do measure it out

For a snack during the day at work I had some decaf Republic of Tea vanilla almond tea with 2 packets of sugar. I convinced my boss when we needed to replace our old water fountain (water cooler?) that the upgrade with the cold AND hot would be really good. It is good, and I don’t have to wait for the microwave for hot water for tea

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For lunch I had Lilly’s brand kalamata hummus with some Crunch Master multi-grain crackers. Both I bought because they were on sale at Rainbow Blossom, and both I actually liked. Not the best of either, but the combo was good and I had it for most of the week because I’m lazy with lunches. I also had a bottle of Hubert’s diet blackberry lemonade. It was really good, and had Stevia as the sweetener so bonus points for that (especially since I didn’t even realize it was diet when I grabbed it, which in hindsight is stupid because look at how big the “diet” is on the bottle).

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I then kind of had a splurge. I was at Earth Fare, hungry, and wanted something so I got some of their vegan chicken salad and a mini loaf of bread. I also then picked up the Rice Dream mint chocolate pie. I didn’t end up eating most of the chicken salad/bread because it really wasn’t good, but I did eat the ice cream. I should have just gotten the ice cream, less calories and less money. If you want vegan chicken salad, go to Whole Foods, so much better.

Even with the splurge I was still doing pretty ok on calories and I made a really awesome meal of quinoa with onions, broccoli, mushrooms, and Beyond Meat chicken strips.

photo 3

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I didn’t do a weigh-in this week. I know I gained and I just couldn’t face the scale. My portions and calories were out of control. I really have no excuse except letting my urges get the best of me. I’m trying my best to recover and turn it around. So far today I’ve been pretty awesome, and really re-learning and re-teaching my body to be ok with being hungry when I don’t need to eat, and not falling for every craving. It’s a battle, but I’ll get there. There was one glimmer of change for the better during the week when I went for a walk as soon as I got home from work. I threw the purse in the trunk and just took off. That was the moment I knew, that even though I wasn’t exactly there, there was hope left.

weigh-in #44. grocery haul.

So, today was my weigh-in. It wasn’t pretty. I knew it was going to be horrible, I have been eating horrendously. I have a habit of being perfect, and on point with calories and food decisions up until dinner and blow it all on high calorie binges. This showed in the scale with around a 4 pound gain.

Yep.

I’m not happy about it, I’m not excited. I am ashamed and saddened by it. But, life goes on and this is just a bump in the journey. I’m taking it one day at a time trying to turn it around, and I think that’s all I can do. I’ve also been doing things that I know motivate me. The one thing I can not let myself do is blame myself, to the point I worsen the damage. This is not the end of the world, it’s a gentle nudge to tell me to try harder.

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I went to Whole Foods to stock up on things for the fridge. I haven’t really done a proper shop since I’ve come back (I was out of peanut butter and I didn’t even know it) and this was a good start with lots of things that are not only healthy, but have helped keep me in check in the past. I figured a good old grocery haul in image form would be fun, and lighten up the mood in this post.

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  • Califia Farms unsweetened almond milk
  • Califia Farms vanilla almond milk <~ These were still on sale! So excited
  • Tofutti sour cream
  • Earth Balance

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  • Bulk popcorn kernels
  • 365 ketchup
  • 365 crunchy peanut butter
  • Mediterranean leek and onion crackers
  • Oasis roasted red pepper hummus
  • Field Roast meatloaf
  • Bulk nutritional yeast

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  • Grape tomatoes
  • Snap/sugar peas
  • Baby carrots
  • Gala apples
  • Cauliflower

I have a lot of pantry items to use and still have some kale and mushrooms from a previous trip, but this I know will help me start getting into a better routine and prepare better meals, along with healthier snacks.

Also, the splurge of the day goes to:

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Isn’t she pretty? I loooove glass water bottles (not the price…) and I couldn’t resist because of the size (a whole 22 ounces) and the top. I have a smaller one of the Life Factory bottles with just the screw on top. I love it. It’s durable, the glass is so much easier to clean (and doesn’t start to do that weird scratching/cloudiness that bugs me) and I use it at work all the time. My only problem was the top. I need a water bottle that is a covered top (for safety reasons in the shop), but sometimes I don’t have two free hands so the top was always a nuisance. I think this is going to be the winner in all of my issues with the added bonus of a strap and more ounces. One of the things I’m pushing towards is drinking my water. Now I can leave this one at work, and take my old one home.

carbs. carbs. bleh.

Carbs, carbs, carbs.

I absolutely 100% adore the Vegan Zombie boys, but they need to stop making such amazing food that is not only GOOD but easy to make. Especially the mac and cheese. Admittedly not exactly like the real thing, but still amazing. I tried making it yesterday with less calories and the whole nine yards (which I did drastically accomplish) but I still ended up eating the entire thing in the past two days. Mostly last night. I had like 1200 calories of the stuff in one sitting. I know, I know. Horrible. No good. Very bad. I now know that it is a huge trigger food and I need to be mindful of that. Or only make it when I can get others to eat the rest of it. But it’s so good.

My saving grace is that even with that excessiveness I still had calories left for the day yesterday because of the big Humana strike. But. Still. Not good. I feel all of my foods have been very off this week. I know I’m not making the right choices to keep me fueled, especially since my “exercise” was bumped up drastically. On Monday I had 8,000 steps by noon. And that was 8,000 steps of lifting and carrying heavy objects and furniture and then unloading them. The weather has also shifted back from freezing to 80’s so I have been dehydrated as well.

I’m really pushing hard to correct my eating back to whole foods, good sources of protein and WATER. Lots of water. Weightloss can’t be about just maintaining losing weight calories, it’s got to be about the quality of foods as well. I always feel better when I eat healthier foods. Remember this, Jessie.

Weigh-In #37

It’s been a while since I have posted anything. I think this is a direct corralation to the fact that I posted my last weigh-in video really late this week. I had originally intended it for it to be up Tuesday night (when I filmed it) and didn’t realize till Thursday that it had failed. But, I made one! That’s at least some dedication right? I was originally going to do it on Sunday, per norm, but by the time my friend left it was later and I just didn’t feel like doing it. It was purely about laziness than anything else.

I gained .6 last week, which I knew had to be water weight/having had more carby-alcohol than normal close to weigh-in (but still in calories!)/and the arrival of my period that led to the gain. Even knowing this, sometimes it sucks to see the number on the scale go up when you know you’ve been doing excellent. I didn’t really let that get me down, and this past week I had a really awesome week. I went out for walks more, I stayed within calories, I ate relatively good foods, and it paid off. Big time.

This week I weighed in at 304.8 which is a loss of 7.8 lbs. Holy. Crap. You know what the beauty of this number is? I didn’t have to do all that much to attain it. I went for walks, and I ate food at normal portions/calories (my calories are set at 1700 on MyFitnessPal currently) and at normal times, and I didn’t dwell too hard about anything. When I wanted to walk, I walked. If I only wanted to do a mile, I just did a mile. If I was hungry I ate good snacks of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. It’s so inspiring to keep this up when it’s becoming so much more easier. I feel it in my body, and it gives me the confidence to just want to continue. I also have the energy too. It’s harder to do things weighing as much as I do, and just moving a little bit more each day it has led to increased motivation both mentally and physically to just keep doing it.

I am rational, and know that numbers like this directly relate to how overweight I am, and that it could get harder sooner than I think, I still love the way I’m starting to look, and knowing that getting below 300 is a very really possible in just a short time. My lowest weight recorded is 285.2. That was back on August 11th of 2010. Getting down to that is one of my first “goals” that I have had in the back of my head. And it’s so attainable.

weightloss. 10,00 steps challenge.

Hi! So yesterday was weigh-in, and I lost 5.4lbs. Huzzah! I was totally not expecting that at all. I did poorly at the beginning of the week with my calories, but I guess towards the end of the week with pretty solid calories and the combination of doing a lot of putting away in stock, I ended up with that loss. I also think that the last two weeks being somewhat a maintain was sort of a carry over for me for that loss. At any rate, I’m super excited about it. I weighed in on MyFitnessPal and I am now down to a new lower calorie limit. We’ll see how this week goes with that change.

I am now at 312, which the last record I have at that weight was March 3, 2011. Although that is disheartening, I can only look to the future. I notice every day that my body is changing. Pants don’t fit any more, I walk more quickly, am willing to do more things. I am much more conscious about the things that I eat, and my portions (which is the biggest thing for me). I am starting to feel really good, and I think that is all that really matters.

I also decided that since my hectic Humana days are over I need to up the exercise and I decided to do that with something that can be fairly easy for me: a 10,000 steps challenge. I’m wearing my FitBit every day this week and I want to accomplish 10,000 steps every day. What’s great is that I have a bunch of leeway with that challenge. I could end up doing 10,000 steps at work, and then I won’t have to do anything elsewhere. But if I don’t, I need to make up for it somehow. Whether it is going for a walk, or walking around my house.

Today, as of 8pm, I have a little over 8,000 steps. I’m worried that today might not be a good day to start this challenge and then fail. I tried hard, but I didn’t really factor in that it would be Spring and snowing outside. I did go over to the grocery store and walk the aisles to try to make up for it, and to stay indoors, but it’s a little hairy now. I’ve been kind of cleaning around the house, so we’ll see at Midnight what happens. Here’s hoping for the best!

let downs.

Lately I’ve been in a slump. I could blame it on personal issues that have happened in the my life, or the fact that I’m working so much, but those are just excuses and shouldn’t really lead to such a “downward spiral” (for lack of a better phrase). I had been going so good in this weight loss journey: tracking, losing weight, eating healthier, sticking to my portions. But these last few weeks I’ve been in this broken record where I’m eating great one day, and the next not so great. Or eating perfect during the day until I get to dinner. I don’t like it, at all. It’s been leading to me indulging in more than I should-more than I want- and this past week’s weigh-in is an indicator of that.

I’m trying so hard to get out of that, but I feel myself slowly slipping back into my old ways. Sleeping in and rushing out the door without breakfast, high calorie snacking, hardly eating anything at lunch and then coming home to high calorie dinners. I don’t like it. Not only do I feel it in my body, but I just feel it in my being. I had this really great thing going where I would wake up in the mornings and have breakfast with green tea. It woke me up, and I felt a little bit better walking out the door to work. And then I would come home and eat a good dinner and end the day with a relaxing cup of tea. I’m not doing any of that now. I haven’t eaten breakfast in probably a week. I don’t even drink the tea because my calories have been up.

It’s a fine line that I’m hovering at. In one hand, I have to see the good that I am doing. The things that I’m doing now that I wouldn’t be doing when times would be like this. I’m still tracking, even if it’s going to tell me I ate 400 more calories than I should have. I still make better choices. But as I said in a post below, just because the bag of chips is half the calories of a normal one, it still doesn’t make eating the whole bag ok. But where do I cross the line of congratulating myself for those better steps, to discouraging the lack of improvement?

I don’t want to let myself down again. I don’t want to slowly give up like I have in the past. It scares me. I don’t want to be obese anymore. I don’t want to be depressed because of my weight. I don’t want to look in the mirror every morning and be disgusted with the body I see. I don’t want to think about the fact that I might die because of my weight. You would think that would be enough to get me into gear. To make me take control of my life. But it’s hard. It’s really, really hard. It’s really hard to see how far you have got, to see other people just have it so much easier. To will myself that I can do it and not look at the countless times in the past I haven’t done it and not think that it’s a hopeless cause. That I’ve already wasted away my years and there is no purpose at all.

Weight loss is so fucking hard. It really is.